F*ck that Taco Bell bacon commercial

When I was 19 years old I worked at the Hard Rock Cafe @ Universal City Walk – and actually really enjoyed it. That’s also where I met my gay ex-fiance Torry Pendergrass – who never wanted to tell anyone that we met there because he was embarrassed of it. He also told people he was from Seattle when in actuality he was from a tiny town in Oregon called Yam Hill – OFF TOPIC – Anyway, if you’ve ever worked at a restaurant, you know the rapport you have with the other servers/employees; you party with them – A LOT. One night, after getting drinks at a dive bar called the Casting Couch (I know, how unoriginal?), this guy Jason asked me to give him a ride home. For some reason, and I cannot remember now, I knew this guy had a crush on me. I was trying to avoid it all together but he sort-of trapped me into giving him a ride home.

ANYWAY, we’re in the driveway of his condo or house or whatever, and I say, OKAY, SEE YA and I lean over to give him a hug …it was all so awkward I just wanted him out of my car! So, as I lean over, he tries to plant one on me and I go “Whoa, WHOA, Jason, it’s not like that, I was trying to give you a hug”.

He leaned back and got a bit pouty and I apologized and tried to make him feel better (which took another 10mins) but I still just wanted him out of my car. So, I say again, OKAY, SEE YA TOMORROW – and he asked me for a hug …[HESITATION] I say okay -but just a hug- and as I lean over, HE TRIES TO KISS ME AGAIN! At this point I had to get rude. I mean seriously, why do I always have to go there?

I finally get him out of my car KISS-FREE and drive home. PHEW! The next day at work, I was getting strange looks and smirks from everyone …WHAT THE F*CK? Then someone comes up to me and tells me how great it was that I came out of the closet and was a lesbian.

* STUNNED *

I was like WHAT????!?!?!?!??!? THE??!?!??!?!?!? F*CK?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!!

Jason had told everyone that I was a lesbian because I refused his smooth moves the previous night in the car.

So how, you ask, does this have anything to do with the Taco Bell bacon commercial? …the one where the supposed ugly girl has a bacon taco in her purse to attract boys (which totally would work according to my husband)? BECAUSE HE’S ON IT! And every time I see it, I am reminded of what an ass hole that f*cker was telling everyone I was a lesbo.

NOT that I have ANY problems with the gays and may have even played a couple innings for their team, but STILL – I never bought the uniform! …asshole.

LA native & lifestyle blogger Maegan Tintari writes daily at ...love Maegan.com sharing beauty & style secrets, including fashion DIYs, how-to nail art manicures, hair tutorials, recipes & home decorating ideas, as well as a look into her personal life, her journey & battle with infertility & recent relocation to the mountains by a lake in search of a better life with her adorable French Bulldog brothers, Trevor and Randy.

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