ANYWAY, we’re in the driveway of his condo or house or whatever, and I say, OKAY, SEE YA and I lean over to give him a hug …it was all so awkward I just wanted him out of my car! So, as I lean over, he tries to plant one on me and I go “Whoa, WHOA, Jason, it’s not like that, I was trying to give you a hug”.
He leaned back and got a bit pouty and I apologized and tried to make him feel better (which took another 10mins) but I still just wanted him out of my car. So, I say again, OKAY, SEE YA TOMORROW – and he asked me for a hug …[HESITATION] I say okay -but just a hug- and as I lean over, HE TRIES TO KISS ME AGAIN! At this point I had to get rude. I mean seriously, why do I always have to go there?
I finally get him out of my car KISS-FREE and drive home. PHEW! The next day at work, I was getting strange looks and smirks from everyone …WHAT THE F*CK? Then someone comes up to me and tells me how great it was that I came out of the closet and was a lesbian.
* STUNNED *
I was like WHAT????!?!?!?!??!? THE??!?!??!?!?!? F*CK?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!!
Jason had told everyone that I was a lesbian because I refused his smooth moves the previous night in the car.
So how, you ask, does this have anything to do with the Taco Bell bacon commercial? …the one where the supposed ugly girl has a bacon taco in her purse to attract boys (which totally would work according to my husband)? BECAUSE HE’S ON IT! And every time I see it, I am reminded of what an ass hole that f*cker was telling everyone I was a lesbo.
NOT that I have ANY problems with the gays and may have even played a couple innings for their team, but STILL – I never bought the uniform! …asshole.