What I’m Wearing…
* Little red dress with ruffle by J.O.A
* Butterfly sunglasses by 3.1 Phillip Lim {obvious new faves}
* Balenciaga classic town bag from What Goes Around Comes Around
* Adidas superstars
* Title: Counting Crows ‘Anna Begins’… We’re always changing, and it doesn’t bother me to say… this isn’t love… but I’m sure there’s something in a shade of grey or something in between, and I can always change my name… when kindness falls like rain, it washes her away.
When I was a senior in high school and I’d get lost in my thoughts, I’d jump in my car with my cigarettes and drive through the canyons, and along Mulholland at night. With the windows down, one arm on the wheel, one arm out the window, I’d just think. I remember mostly – only – listening to Counting Crows first album during those drives, so it must have coincided with the release and I must have been 17 years old… or maybe 18 – no, because I moved to Orange County the summer I turned 18, so it was somewhere in between December and June 1994, and maybe even a little before.
It was also a transitional time, similar – though nothing like what I am going through now – but as I find myself alone with my thoughts as I was then, and for lack of better word -single and free, for really what feels like the first time in my adult life, I can’t help but look back, look under, look up, over and everywhere in between for any signs of a dream that got lost in the midst of life. And since on most days, driving now is only through mountain roads {oh irony, I kind of love you}, it’s as if I’m getting to go back in time and do it all over again, but with more wisdom, confidence, understanding, and hopefully -finally- get to do it the way I really want to. I know that sounds strange, but it’s kind of brilliant really.
Anyway, whenever I hear Counting Crows I think of that time.
I’m so worried about being one of those people who grows older and becomes bitter about everything that happened or didn’t happen in their lives, or even a person who only tells stories from their past… like I just did – though now that I’m listening to it again, I’m creating new memories around it. I want to grow through this, transition gracefully, and start living the life I may have been too afraid to really dive into in the past, creating new memories and stories along the way.
Life is really about change, and is something I actually quite adore about it… if you’re resistant to change, you’re resistant to life, and that’s no way to live.
And maybe one day I’ll end up on a coconut island… as if I don’t live a vacation life already, HA! But there are no palm trees here. It’s the ONE thing this place is missing 😉
Shop my look below…
Happy Friday Lovecats! Have a FAB 4th of July Weekend!
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