Success means different things to different people… or it should anyway, but more specifically, success seems to be almost exclusively tied with fame or fortune – and more importantly, both, without many variables in between. But is success really that clear-cut and uncompromising? If it were based solely on fame and fortune, then would you …
Downer Alert: I Thought This was It
I’ll never have a baby. And as soon as I stop thinking that way for even just a minute, I am reminded of it in the worst possible way. The hope/disappointment cycle reminds me of my relationship with my late father, which now that I think about it, has always been a part of my …
Update: Where I Am in the Journey to Accepting the Fact that I will Probably Not get to Have Children
I no longer hope that “this is the month”, in fact I wish the opposite. I no longer am upset by my period as a reminder that yet again, there is no baby growing inside of me but am relieved at the sight of the blood {ew, I know}. I am not swayed by the …
I guess this’s how I’m working through it
I’m not sure that I quite understand sadness …or rather, what to do with so much of it. I know that for so long I dealt with it angrily. And as hard as I try to handle it maturely now, when sadness completely overwhelms me I will still sometimes resort to a tiny temper tantrum …
Thoughts on Motherhood …on Mother’s Day
I began this blog originally in 2007 because I thought I was pregnant. Naming it “baby! baby!”, I wanted to document my pregnancy as such. When I found out I wasn’t pregnant, the blog quickly changed to …love Maegan {the name I had used previously to brand hand-made clothing & accessories I made & sold} …
My Studio, Magazines, …and Baby-Mania
As I slowly work at pulling my new office/dressing room/closet area together – which I am just going to refer to as “my studio” from here on out {and I don’t care if it sounds pretentious because I just cannot say SLASH one more time}, I’ve realized now may be the time to go through …
Say what you need to say …because it’s playing in the background
I sit here wanting to write, not knowing where to start but knowing that I’ve been trying my hardest to keep busy …to keep my mind off of what is truly bothering me. The end result? Some great DIYs but an emotional wreck of a human. Yes, I’m sure my lame period is coming. And …
Making Lemonade …instead of babies.
A couple months ago as I was going through my daily blogs, I read that a woman I know was pregnant with her first baby and not only that, her sister was pregnant too! I thought to myself, how fun! Getting to share those 9 months together, having same age kids, there were just so …
I never thought it would be so difficult to get pregnant.
* Last March, I wrote this post called Baby Fever. Who knew a year later I would be feeling the exact same way? …still childless. * My mind is completely wrapped around this right now …which means that I cannot write a single word about anything else. * My thoughts are random and scattered. * …
baby mama, not
I can’t WAIT to be pregnant …I mean, I’m going to wait but when it’s time, I can’t WAIT” I have been saying that since my late teens knowing that I did, indeed, want to wait for numerous reasons. But now I can actually say I can’t wait to be pregnant! PERIOD. I cannot wait …
The Sniz
Yesterday afternoon my husband and I had our first “together” visit to the gynecologist to make sure we’re doing everything right as we embark on the next phase of our lives: baby making. {and a routine yearly check-up for me} Needless to say, this was not the most comfortable situation for Pep {though he met …
Endometriosis & Ovarian Cysts & How They Affect Fertility
June 12 (2007), a new anniversary for me. Last April I scheduled an appointment with a new gynecologist who also happened to be an infertility specialist. I went in for the normal yearly check-up; got weighed (fun), changed into a paper towel (awesome), and sat on the wax papered table and waited for the Dr. …
Baby Fever
above art:Mark Ryden “Cecella” My husband and I got married (well, eloped) September 4, 2006. He proposed at my 30th 80’s Roller Skate birthday party at the end of the Hokey Pokey – and it was awesomely radical! I thought soon after we’d buy a house and start makin’ babies. Real estate in LA slowly …