I can’t WAIT to be pregnant …I mean, I’m going to wait but when it’s time, I can’t WAIT”
I have been saying that since my late teens knowing that I did, indeed, want to wait for numerous reasons.
But now I can actually say I can’t wait to be pregnant! PERIOD. I cannot wait to feel it. ALL. Every minute of the awesomeness right down to the delivery.
The ONE thing I have always known for sure is that I wanted to be a mom. I was unsure about what direction to take as far as a career was concerned but knew I had to have one before becoming a mom for financial reasons.
We are just now really beginning to try after a year of so-so trying …but still, it makes me feel like I will never get to be a mom…the one thing I always thought I knew I wanted…over a career, over anything…and now that it’s time, I feel like a complete failure.
I would rather adopt than go through fertility treatments. One, because I don’t want to birth a litter of babies {one or two is enough}. Two, because, while I don’t believe in god, I do believe that nothing is coincidence and everything that is meant to happen happens. Meaning, {in my mind} I do not want to force a pregnancy. {not that there is anything wrong with treatments. Honestly, no judgement here – I just don’t think it’s right for me}
I don’t really even want to post this …because then, it’s real. It’s really a fact that I cannot seem to get knocked up. ME! And it makes me feel like a failure. I would have NEVER in one million years EVER thought that this would even be an issue for me. Ever.
image via: Footsteps for Fertility
