Every time it gets windy in LA, someone undoubtedly says “It’s the Santa Ana’s again” …like they’re the f*cking weather man!
Growing up [in LA – 818 mostly], I remember the Santa Ana Winds only really making their presence known around late Summer; August, September and possibly through the winter. Wikipedia seems to agree with me. But who knows, we both could be wrong.
Whatever. What I’m trying to get at is last week it was around 95°HOT and now it’s about 20°below! Okay, I MAY be exaggerating a bit – but that’s how extreme this weather feels! [can you hear the whine in my voice?]
Right now it’s as dark as evening outside, a bit drizzly, and so windy I’m afraid one of the palm trees is going to come crashing through the large windows I’m facing and impale my eye. Yesterday evening the thunder was so loud and hard and RIGHT ABOVE MY HEAD, I jumped out of my chair and yelped a little. Okay, ALOT.
I don’t know about you but I get a little out-of-sorts when it’s windy. Like I feel crazy! The energy is just too buzzzzzzing. I drop things, I can’t form sentences, I’m super jumpy [pretty much the same as PMS symptoms …fun]. I always blame it on being an air sign and that when the air blows too much, it throws me all off balance …and I’m sticking with that.
The most noticeable sign for me [besides the above mentioned crazies] is what I like to call “Popsicle Lips” or “Kool-Aid Lips” and it drives me insane. When it gets windy it gets all dry and annoying and I most likely (unconsciously) start licking my lips [uncontrollably] and in a day or so they become BRIGHT RED! The same color your lips turn after sucking on a “Big Stick” till it’s gone. [and yes, there’s another story there].
Why do my bright red lips bother me so much? Because somehow, my freckles show up more as well and I end up looking REALLY IRISH! …which is also why I pretty much never wear dark lipstick.
Secondly, our Pug, Bebop, gets something we like to call chap-ass. As you may know, if you’ve ever seen a Pug, their tail DOES NOT COVER THEIR BUTT HOLE (like a cat!) and because of this, the dry winds take their toll on his poor little bung hole. He then proceeds to sit his butt on the carpet and use his front legs to turn himself in fast circles. Over and over and over and over. But he can never seem to satiate that itch! Although, it could be the hemorrhoids. Can dogs get hemorrhoids?
Thirdly, the wind is so loud WOOOOOO …and it bangs everything around at night making it impossible to sleep in fear of scary movie music beginning and the “Night Stalker” slowly creeping up our stairs. AAAAH! [my husband and my cousin are still afraid of the night stalker]
I think many of my “wind” issues started when I was a child. When I was about 6 or so, my mom made me a Blue Fairy costume (from Sleeping Beauty) for Halloween. It was awesome. She made me these awesome wings out of wire hangers and sheer powder blue chiffon. They were huge. When I got out of the car to go to school in my costume, the wind picked up and seriously PICKED ME UP OFF THE GROUND! Clearly I didn’t blow away….but for the rest of the day I thought I was going to. ISSUES.
And lastly, as you also may know, LA streets are lined with Palm Trees. When the friggin wind blows, it knocks off all the dead palm fronds onto the streets and unless you have an SUV or truck, you cannot drive over them. They get stuck under your car.
All I’m saying is give peace a chance – no, I HATE THE WIND!
