{photo of “smoking section” 2003 – see more photos here}
I am proud to say that today marks the third year anniversary of quitting smoking.
Actually, I’m not that proud. It’s sort of a false accomplishment as I feel I shouldn’t have started in the first place. Yet, saying that brings focus to the past couple of months …which have been riddled with cigarette cravings. You’d think at three years smoke free, the cravings would be gone. But no, more than ever lately …and I think it’s weird. …although I smoked for over 10 years.
I think I regret quitting every other day. But I know that if I ever took even one puff of one, that I would be addicted again and at the liquor store spending $7 for a pack. And that sucks. Because smoking is so good. FU cigarette companies. FU!
I used this book to quit. No, it wasn’t easy but it worked. But I had to believe it …like you believe in religion. Let it brainwash you …or it will not work.
I also had about five cigarettes left in my pack and any smoker knows you do not just throw away a good cigarette …let alone FIVE! But if I didn’t, I knew I would give in and smoke them …and yes, I would even go so far as to dig them out of the trash or smoke old disgusting butts. So, I took a Sharpie marker and wrote down the sides of each one …”This is poison” …”This will not make you feel better” …etc. etc. And it did work. I didn’t smoke them. I think I was more worried about inhaling the fumes from the Sharpie than the cigarette. How crazy is that?!?! …and I kept them sitting in the ashtray on the patio for months after. I wish I had a photo of them.
So yeah, I guess I feel better mentally and physically. My stomach can handle way more and is much stronger than it was but all the things they tell you will get better after you quit for vanity’s sake are not true. My skin is no better. My hair is no better …although it doesn’t smell of stale smoke which is a plus. My eyes are no bluer. But I don’t have that annoying clearing of the throat cough all day long nor do I wake up with about a cup full of phlegm in my throat every morning. So yeah, all in all, it was a good decision. LOL.
