What I’m Wearing…
* Black crocodile shiny leggings by American Apparel {old}
* Black turtleneck by Splendid
* Insulated coat w/faux fur trim hood by Burton
* Sunglasses by Ferragamo
* Suede wedge booties with faux fur {also} by Splendid {last year}
* Vintage Chanel mini bucket bag
* Title: Elton John – I’m Still Standing… And if you need to know while i’m still standing you just fade away… I’m still standing after all this time… Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind
There were minutes, hours, days, nights, weeks, and even months during 2016 where certain moments in time were so devastatingly difficult, I never thought I’d make it through… But I’m still standing, better than I ever did and I sometimes wonder if I hadn’t been so challenged, might I have just curled up in my bed and stayed there until the end of time?
Sunday evenings often come with a hint of sadness and I think it’s mostly due to the amount of time I spend with friends over the weekend, making the alone time on Sunday night glaring and staggeringly palpable. Oftentimes I’m reflective and begin writing a post to document and share it, but somewhere in the middle I feel too vulnerable to actually do so and inevitably the emotions become too strong to continue writing, and so I shut my laptop and choose not to finish, leaving a handful of unpublished posts in my archive that will forever go unfinished, unedited and unseen.
But every Sunday I make it through, having learned something new, and sometimes, that’s all I can ask for. I think it’s important to reflect on the week, and this week was a time of reflecting on the year gone and the new year ahead. I’m filled with excitement for what this year will bring, the completion of projects, new beginnings of that I know and for all the new experiences and unforeseen amazing adventures 2017 will bring.
I spent a good amount of time having fun in 2016, fun that I desperately needed after feeling so trapped and unhappy for so many years. I think it’s necessary to lose control every once in a while, or even once a week, because life is so boring otherwise. Though oftentimes the end result of said fun isn’t always positive, but the experience is always worth it. Every single time. But judgement and guilt and self-loathing love to infiltrate the mind just long enough to make us feel like we’re failing at life when we aren’t perfect, or when things fall apart. But regrets are a waste of time.
It’s so cliche, but the only real way to know your worth sometimes is to be forced out of your comfort zone, build yourself back up, and find yourself better for having experienced the treacherous journey.
I’m optimistic about 2017 and heading into it with much positivity, but that doesn’t mean everything will always be easy. I’ve found though, when things are too easy to attain, passion lacks and desire fades and success rates fall as well. There is beauty in the process, longing in the suspense, love in the end, for whatever it is you’re after. And looking back when all is finally gotten reminds you of how great the journey was, because that’s where the story is at.
The tale always ends at Happily Ever After, the memories are in the middle, and that’s where I always want to find myself.
Happy 2017 Lovecats!
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