What I’m Wearing…
* Black overalls from Free People… also seen here
* Black and white striped puff, ruffle sleeve sweater by English Factory… also seen here
* Black hat from the local Bass store
* Sorel snow boots from a few years ago. I still love them. I thought I’d replace them last winter but never did.
* Barton Perreira Winette sunglasses – still faves
* Title: AJR – BANG! Let’s go out with a bang | BABEL… So put your best face on everybody… Pretend you know this song… Everybody come hang (come hang)… Let’s go out with a bang… Bang! Bang! Bang! THIS SONG makes me giggle every time I hear it… EVERYBODY 🙂
HELLO 2021!!! FINALLY!!! Please be better…
There’s so much to say and yet nothing at all to say that would probably be any different from what you’re thinking and how you’re feeling right now. 2020 was a shit show in every possible way and that’s not news to you but some good did come out of it I suppose, but the overall weight of the year will go down in history. With a global pandemic you’d think it would sort of bring everyone together in a way but with the political atmosphere of 2020 and our isolation, we became even more separated than ever on a mass scale. That said, I do think that we all united on Instagram and with close friends and family and slowed down in a way that made us a little uncomfortable at first, but was oh so necessary to force us to look at what is most important.
I am feeling fortunate that I’m still here, that my family and friends are still here and that we’re all healthy… because for so many, that is not a reality. To those who lost loved ones in 2020, I’m deeply sorry for your loss.
The Year in Review…
2020 seems to be the year of the year in review, even though we traveled less, barely left our houses and saw fewer people, it was so tough mentally and financially with small businesses and people losing their jobs and working remotely and all the fear, anxiety and uncertainty that accompanied it. We were forced to change how we went about our daily lives in unprecedented ways, it’s only natural to take a moment to look back and try to find the light in between all the darkness.
1. Although it was probably the roughest few months in my relationship, summer was one of the best I’ve experienced up here so far. I was able to really enjoy the lake in a new way because a friend let us borrow his boat literally whenever we wanted, as if it were our own, and it was just fantastic. Having the boat allowed us to feel like we were taking mini vacations on our own little island on the water among all the other little islands. We were free to be out in our own bubble, able to social distance while also having a blast and seeing friends on the lake and basking in the warm sun. It was my 8th summer on this mountain by the lake and while I live further away from the lake now, I was finally able to enjoy it the way it’s truly meant to be enjoyed… and I am looking forward to next summer to be even better.
2. Our business took a huge hit early in the year when we had to close our doors to the public and offer takeout only. Luckily we received a small PPP loan (and when I say small, I mean it was less than half of one month of our normal monthly revenue) but it helped keep us afloat until June when we were able to re-open… and then July came and they shut us down again. We had to get creative and build an outdoor patio, which thankfully worked out okay because it was summer and warm out. In the last few months of freezing winter we’ve been open and closed and open and closed but we survived and are still surviving. And for that I am grateful.
3. Personally, I think I’ve grown a LOT in 2020 and the lines on my face have deepened to prove it. Growing emotionally, spiritually and mentally while evolving sounds blissful, but the journey is the exact opposite. This is one case where the destination far outweighs the journey, but for the newfound peace I have (in certain areas), I am grateful.
4. I rented an office space… and though I haven’t officially started working from it and yes it’s been three months since I took over the space, I am SO excited to go and create there. I have just a few more little projects to finish before fully integrating as well as waiting for the internet/wifi set up. The snow this week kind of put another pause in my progress, but I’ve gotten almost everything there and can feel the new creative juices flowing… and for that, I am truly grateful.
While yes, my income tanked this year due to COVid, I still have my house fund (from selling my house mid-2019) and though I do not like pulling from savings, the housing market BOOMED up here in 2020 so I will be waiting to buy again for a few more years until it settles (I think anyway) and so in the meantime I figured I may as well invest in myself and my own business and see where it will take me. I’ve worked from home on and off my entire adult life and then full time blogging from home began in 2012, but I don’t have a space in this house to focus and be creative and I’m really hoping the new office will give me that. I’m fortunate to have the opportunity to do something like this in a time when everyone is now working from home… I’m completely over it (lol) and am moving my work out of my home. It’s such a big step though and I’ll really have to change a lot about my daily schedule to make it work and it may actually be a challenge, but I’m looking forward to it, even if it will feel awkward at first. Hopefully by next week, I’ll be at least partially there and can share all my final renovations of the space.
Overall, 2020 has taught me patience with myself and with the world and with relationships… in everything. I’m not good at being patient, waiting in any capacity makes me anxious because it makes me feel completely out of control (a new thing I learned about myself in 2020), but the little voice in my head has a new coping mechanism that sounds a little like this… Is there some way you can take control of this situation instead of feeling like a victim? If it’s not about control the voice sounds like this: WHO CARES? It’s okay if it doesn’t happen now or didn’t happen when you wanted it to, or things have taken longer than you anticipated to move forward. Slow down. Breathe. Everything is happening exactly the way it’s supposed to and everything is going to be okay.
I still have a lot to learn. I still have a lot of growing to do, I don’t think that ever really stops if you’re the kind of person who is trying to level up your past self into a more evolved future self. There is always some new trauma to heal, a new trigger and reaction I need to work on and a healthier way to live. I am a work in progress, a science project with continuous new theories and algorithms to adjust to.
May we do more than survive in 2021, MAY WE THRIVE IN 2021!
Even though I am not setting true “goals” for 2021 as I normally would since the world is still in flux, I have a few resolutions I want to be mindful of moving into the coming year and they include: being more consistent (even when it’s hard), creating healthy boundaries and sticking to them (and not feeling “bad” when I say “no” especially to certain people who don’t take no for an answer which leads me to finally give in and then being resentful of them when I was the one who didn’t stick to my own boundary and betrayed myself by saying yes to what they wanted and no to myself – I honestly didn’t realize this about myself until 2020), I would like to write more and be open to new kinds of creative endeavors, opportunities and collaborations… and lastly, I’d like to give more and/or create more ways to give back to and help others. I’m not sure how any of this looks just yet but I want to keep these things at the top of my daily to-do list and smaller goals that hopefully turn into larger dreams becoming realities.
I am hopeful that things will get better… I hope you are hopeful too. Cheers to 2021!!!
I snapped this from my car window the other day driving by the golf course so the quality isn’t too great, but wow it was beautiful.
Happy New Year Lovecats!
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