I had hoped to get this post up on Monday and to include it in my #MondayMotivation series to start the year off with a great motivated BANG! But alas, it did not happen, and now that it’s Wednesday, I’m clearly judging myself for it and hoping that it’s not going to determine how this year is going to be… I think my main resolution for 2018 is to stop being so hard on myself, allow for a grace period, notice all that I am doing and to stop overthinking and just be…
I think it’s safe to say that only one person had a truly PHENOMENAL 2017, and that was Meghan Markle… because any year you get engaged to a prince to secure your future as a princess, is probably a great one, right?
For the rest of us, it was challenging, to say the least.
Maybe you had a great year. Maybe not. But maybe 2017, with its challenges and hurdles and stops along the way, was simply the stepping stone to greatness.
Maybe it was the long and daunting treck to the top of the mountain and the new year represents this peak that we’ve made it to after the steep hike up and now we can look out over our entire past and see how it has led us here and be grateful.
But through its misery, 2017 had moments of beauty… Tiny glimmers of greatness and hope and though for me it finally closed a few doors, it also opened a few beautiful ones as well.
As much as I’m trying so hard to move forward positively, I worry that I’m still making choices the past version of myself would make out of fear or habit and am spending probably far too much time overthinking my choices rather than just moving forward and recognizing that each choice is a lesson that offers something to learn about life or about myself and that I probably couldn’t get to the place I want to be without working through this step first.
When usually December is my least favorite month of the year, I think this December has been my best month yet. I’ve allowed myself time to heal and to smile and to have a little fun and to relax into the knowing that everything I’ve been working so hard at is actually unfolding and that very soon it will all fall into place – a place I’ve been envisioning for quite some time.
I’ve spent a lot of the year working and worrying and dealing with the transition of all the changes I put into place in 2016 that I haven’t allowed much room for fun at all, at least comparatively speaking, especially based on the fun I had the year prior while getting through my separation and divorce… or rather avoiding the reality of it all, I should say, but it was definitely fun and I’ve missed having fun. I’ve missed the joy of not giving a fuck.
Resolutions [for me] are more like little goals and noticing the patterns and habits I’ve fallen into that aren’t helping me move forward and then working on creating new/positive habits that really propel me towards my desires and goals, present (little) and future (larger).
I have to recognize my worried mind and instead of worrying about “how I’m going to do something” the focus should constantly be simply on what I want the outcome to be.
I think if and when we are focused on the goal and what we want instead of what we don’t want, little opportunities pop out of nowhere to move us toward what we want… and then life feels magical again and we are happy without really knowing why, even though our energy created it.
If we can continue visualizing our goal with a knowing and certainty that it will turn out the way we want it to, then by focusing that energy to what we want, we will get there… the how doesn’t matter as long as we stay open to the clues and opportunities along the way, it will become ours.
If the dream and visualization is there, then it already exists and all we can do is move towards it. Our worry and fear holds us back from having it… it’s already there, the speed at which we get it is determined by our openness to receiving it.
And if I truly believe this, and I do, then my main goal now is patience. In fact, patience seems to be a constant challenge that I battle in life, harder than the work, more treacherous than the journey, I don’t know how to be patient when it’s time because patience oftentimes feels like laziness to me… and oftentimes when I’m in the “patience zone” I start something new because I simply cannot help myself… but patience is my only choice.
Just because the year was challenging doesn’t mean it was a bust. If I stop and look at the tiny moments that made up the year, some were magical, some were insane, but some were really precious and quite possibly the start of something beautiful that I hadn’t even noticed.
Cheers to 2018!
May it be the one we’ve waited for, the icing on the cake, the answer to all of our questions, and the beginning of the most beautiful life ever.
Love to you all, now and always, Lovecats!!
