As many of you know, I’ve been writing and sharing pretty consistently at Substack since February 1st of this year…
After about a year and a half of wondering what was next, waiting for my next BIG IDEA and coming up short, I set a goal for myself to write every day at Substack, which I actually set up in February 2022. Yes, it took me two years (almost to the DATE!) to finally start and when I did, I had no idea what I was going to write there or what to expect, but I just needed to START doing SOMETHING.
Considering I have THIS very usable and somewhat neglected space (which I still adore), you may wonder why I didn’t just start here and the answer is that I haven’t been able to be consistent here for the last few years, as hard as I’ve tried. This is mainly due to the fact that my real life had completely drained me energetically and creatively but also that I felt a bit boxed in here. I felt like I kept trying to fit into a past self that wasn’t entirely ME anymore. I thought maybe I had outgrown it…
But I haven’t… entirely.
I still want to keep THIS space to share my passions/interests like personal style, fashion, home decor, DIYs, etc., but I fear that it’s not as much of a priority for me (at the moment as it used to be) and I figured, rather than keep trying to force SOMETHING here, I had to start SOMETHING fresh and new at Substack, where I’ve literally been pouring my heart and soul out every other day.
It’s become a bit of a self-discovery journey, where I try to navigate not only what to do next, but everything else that I (and probably you) might also be going through at this time (or something similar on some level).
I share occasional free posts there, but because I’m so open, raw and vulnerable, I feel much safer having a smaller following and audience of paid subscribers who are invested in a way that anyone who randomly finds my blog (here) can’t or won’t understand.
I feel very supported by that as well and want to thank every single one of you who have already joined me there for that journey. I know I just started a month and a half ago, but it feels like so much has already happened in such a short amount of time and it’s truly helped me process so much of what I’m going through now and my hope to reimagine a new future for myself at mid-life, alone, childless and leaving my business (and possibly the mountain) behind.
In addition to that, and with much inner child work, I’ve decided to honor my little girl self who wanted more than anything to be an artist, to finally list some of my small watercolor paintings on paper I’ve done in the last few years – FOR SALE – even though it was TERRIFYING AT FIRST.
I shared in a post called Do the Thing that Scares You and then listed 3 artworks for sale on Etsy and they all sold! And so I pulled a handful of paintings (18 to be exact) from my collection and listed them here: Original Artwork For Sale
And let me tell you, with each one I listed for sale, I was filled with joy, an incredible sense of joyous wonder filled me until I felt it in my chest, bubbling up and I couldn’t contain it!
Every single time I listed a new one for sale, I would feel this giddy overwhelming surge of happiness through my body… and I can only imagine that it’s my inner child self so please that I am FINALLY doing what SHE wants me to do. I can’t help but smile. I’m grinning ear to ear as I type this even! I have utterly surrendered to the glee and can’t stop smiling… I am a kid again. So happy, sitting straight up in my chair as if I just received a gold star… the kind of pride we were allowed to feel as children but are somehow forbidden to feel as an adult.
I’m allowing all the emotions to be felt now and doing all the things I’ve waiting my whole entire life to do… Now.
As I sat there editing the colors to make sure they were as close to real life as possible, I had another emotional moment wash over me… I realized I was doing the exact thing I used to do at the art gallery so many years ago when I started this blog. Part of my job there was to color correct the artworks we had in the collection as well as any new acquisitions we’d get in and to prepare and list on the website and create prints for clients to take with them for particular works they were interested in.
Happy tears welled up in my eyes. I had come full circle.
At the gallery, I worked on color correcting art that was selling for hundreds of thousands of dollars, surrounded by incredible (and not so incredible) art every day. And now I’m doing it for my own little works, not nearly worth as much, but the value in dollars is not nearly as important as the value I have for myself for finally doing this thing that has scared me for my entire life, the thing I’ve been circling around for years, the thing I said I’d never be able to do… I finally did it.
It’s an honor to be able to share them with you and I want to thank you for all of your support now and always. I know so many of you have been following along since the beginning when I was working at the art gallery and through all my life journeys ever since. Now I’m on a new one… and even though it’s only just the beginning and I’m still healing and fumbling and trying to figure it all out, I am hoping that it’s going to be an amazing ride that is going to finally get me to the life I’ve always dreamed of living.
Find all of my posts at Substack
Check out my Original Artwork For Sale
If you’re on a desktop computer or laptop, you’ll find the link to my paintings for sale along the top navigation bar, as well as a link to my Substack.
If you’re using your phone, it will appear if you tap on the three lines on the left top corner then scroll the dropdown menu to : ORIGINAL ARTWORK FOR SALE.
And Thank you, Lovecats!
It means the WORLD to me 😻
xoxo, …love, Maegan
