Golden, You’re So Golden … As I Open My Eyes

What I’m Wearing…

* Lee Jeans High Waist Dungaree Ankle Jeans in army green
* Yellow flower tee by Street Genie (a few years ago) made by Aimee Reatherford. She also sent me a cute STAR tee that says Your Favorite Star on the back, see it here in an almost opposite kind of look and in a post where I am undeniably ranting about well, men. (l.o.l.)
* Old cropped ivory turtleneck sweater (similar look here and here by Free People and more affordable version here and here)… also seen here with jeans and boots and here with a leopard skirt
* Saint Laurent sunglasses
* Doc Martens 1460 Serena boots with faux fur lining (I also have them in black – love both) and they’re on sale right now!
* Vintage Louis Vuitton Neverfull MM Tote bag I purchased on Bag Borrow or Steal

* Title: I originally used Billie Eilish – Therefore I Am… but then I had to change it because Harry Styles GOLDEN made more sense … and I do have to say it’s a little ironic they’re both running in their videos 🙂

I don’t wanna be alone… But I, I can feel it take a hold… I can feel you take control… Of who I am and all I’ve ever known…. GOLDEN

We shot these a few days before it snowed, when it still actually looked and felt like Fall (note the trees in the background as evidence), which lasted approximately two weeks and then Winter was upon us. I’m not sure I’m ready for winter just yet, but I don’t think the weather cares if I’m ready for it or not. It just does what it wants to do, when it wants to… and I’m thinking that I seriously need to take lessons from the weather. Maybe we all do 🙂

It has been approximately one month and 3 days since I leased my new office space, and though we’ve made much progress, it still feels miles away and somehow it’s making me feel like I’m waiting to start a new job, waiting to step into my new role in life… even though my job will remain the same… or will it?

There is this constant creative swirling when I think about finally getting to work in my new office space and I can’t help but get excited about it. And then I say to myself, I say MAEGAN! Calm your expectations. You’re going to get in there and nothing is going to change and then you’re going to be let down… but such is not the case. I shan’t be let down because there is only I to blame. It’s not the place that will bring you joy as much as the way it makes you feel and the creative work that comes from it – and this is what I am just itching to start. And then in the end I will know that it was the right move, for I know it is the right move now… but it’s still a little bit scary.

I have a lot of WHAT IFS that are filling this time in between the time where I occupy the space. I need to get into it to prove to myself that the WHAT IFS are just ridiculous fears and WHAT IF IT NOT ONLY MEETS MY EXPECTATIONS BUT IT EXCEEDS THEM?

Because my mind won’t take a break until it settles into my chair at my new desk for the first time and looks around smiling, knowing that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in that moment.

If only I could quell the anxiety by knowing NOW that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in THIS moment.

…but it’s way easier in retrospect 😉

Happy Hump Day Lovecats!

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