What I’m Wearing…
* Title: Blind Melon – No Rain… And I don’t understand why sleep all day… And I start to complain that there’s no rain… And all I can do is read a book to stay awake… And it rips my life away but it’s a great escape… Escape, escape, escape
This song reminds me so much of the ’90s, it’s crazy. Specifically, 1993-1994 when I worked at a surf shop in the Valley called Val Surf when I was 17 years old. It must have played on a radio a hundred times a day and it though it’s kind of a heavy song, the beat is happy and al. I also saw Blind Melon in concert… I was thinking they opened for Nirvana (LA/December 1993)… but it may have been Lenny Kravitz, though I was at both shows, I can’t remember which was which… That was a long LONG time ago.
I actually wore this last year and hated the way the shots came out so I didn’t use the photos. I was scrolling through my computer the other day and found them and decided they weren’t as bad as I thought they were and that even though they are a year old, they’re still relevant to use.
I have to say, I love watching the decades and fashion trends come back around… and then leave and then come back around again and again until finally certain styles and items “stick” and become classics. Not to say so much that this grungy look is a classic, but I think for some people, it’s a style staple. Not so much for me, but it was a fun look nonetheless. It’s possible I’m too old for it at this point, but it’s also simply a long dress with boots and a leather jacket, big deal. It’s the beanie and braided hair that takes it over the edge, lol. Or maybe not. I dunno. I don’t really care. Fashion is always fun…
Between working late nights helping renovate Dogwood Tavern and it getting dark at 5pm, it’s difficult to get enough sunlight in to get my day work done AND shoot outfits. I’m seriously trying to get back to any kind of regular schedule, but it’s adding to the stress and pressure and then I don’t sleep at all. So that’s fun.
If I didn’t constantly judge myself for it all, (like who do I think I am anyway? how can I possibly do everything?) I’d be in an okay place. But too much stress is bound to lead to negative thoughts, which then turn inward, and of course lowers confidence and finally forces one to feel like they’re not doing enough – EVEN though everything is getting done… the road to getting back on a positive track, is a little long. Learning to not be so hard on myself is maybe the toughest challenge from a personal growth perspective… I always think I could be doing more. MUCH more.
I do remember a time (not that long ago) where I was having an insane amount of fun and fun was my only goal as I felt a certain freedom I hadn’t felt in ages. I wonder if I’m paying for all that fun now because I wasn’t working hard enough then? I dunno. That’s probably more negative self-talk-bullshit, BUT, it’s forcing me to work, work, work, and rarely take any breaks for fun these days.
And you know what, I think a little fun is probably exactly what I need right now. Better yet, A LOT of FUN is what I need right now… as long as I don’t make myself feel guilty about it the next day 😉
Happy Hump Day Lovecats!
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