Last Wednesday I had a little free time and knowing that my mom watches my niece, Delilah on Wednesdays for my bro & sis in law {and always secretly hopes I will come play with them} I decided to do just that. I spent quite a few hours with the two of them and just as I had said my goodbyes and was stepping out the door, my mom said “OH WAIT… I almost forgot” and dragged me into her bedroom. We were followed by tiny toddler footsteps of course.
If I recall, my mom wanted to show me, or give to me rather, this vintage locket which belonged to my Grandma and had hidden a photo of me when I was about 7 and one of my little bro when he was just a baby.
How could I resist really? Followed by an Ohhh!!! I realized how great the locket and tarnished chain were and wondered why I didn’t have a vivid memory of this specific piece. Nana would DEFINITELY want me to have this! I thought… but I think that about all of her stuff ;} However, my mom knows this too and I soon realized this locket was just a ploy to get me into the jewelry so as to keep me there longer! She knows I can’t resist going through my Nana’s vintage jewelry …what I haven’t already taken as my own, that is.
And in no time at all, Delilah wanted in on the action.
It reminded me of when I was young… well, not as young as Delilah, but as young as I was in the photo in the locket I suppose, admiring all my Nana’s jewelry …this very jewelry. But Nana had it all stored in the hallway, where my Grandpa had custom built her two shallow but very very long felt-lined drawers under a hall closet. I had to grab her footstool from the service porch & drag it to the other end of the house and stand on it to be able to see in. The footstool which I still use today, in my own kitchen.
In fact, I look around my office as I type this and see so much of my Nana here. Her secretary desk which I use to store all of my jewelry and accessories, her Italian lamps from the late 40’s, her candlesticks and picture frames, her gold rimmed candy dishes, her hat boxes, her shoes. Even the rose copper trash can that sits behind my desk was hers.
The older I get, the more I realize just how much I have in common with my Nana. Not just that we are both Gemini’s and love fashion and jewelry and all things fabulous but of more personal matters and I wish she was still here to talk to about certain things. Like I wish I knew why she couldn’t have children of her own like I can’t. Did she have endometriosis like I do? Did she have cysts on her ovaries like I did? And why she had a hysterectomy in her 30’s. She adopted my mom and my uncle and had she not, I suppose I would have never had the chance to know her. So maybe that was the reason, though a bit egocentric a thought, I am grateful for it. But I miss her terribly.
I’m not sure why I get all sentimental and shit whenever I do spend time with my mom and Delilah …I mean, I do know, but I don’t like it. And I wish things were different. But c’est la vie. Such is life. It is what it is and I had a delightful time with my mom and the delightful Delilah George that warm afternoon, even if she did give me this nasty cold. She’s growing up so insanely fast and I don’t see her nearly enough. My fault, of course, but because of that I kind of always assume she doesn’t know who I am. But she does. And she even knows how to say my name and recognizes that all Pugs are named Bebop. And I love her to pieces. And maybe one day, if she continues to share the love of Nana’s jewelry as I have all these years, it will be passed on to her.
* Title: lyrics from Thank Heaven for Little Girls” from the movie Gigi
