What I’m Wearing…
* Little black crewneck sweater (it’s the one with heart shaped elbow patches that I still adore and wear) – see it here and here… I just found these adorable heart shaped cashmere patches that you can add to your sweaters! Or use to patch a moth hole, etc.
* Faux leather black pants are 7 for all Mankind and I’ve also been wearing them for years. I love that they’re super loose and low rise in the waist and seat because they’re super comfy and I love the cropped look… target has a pair with a similar cut and style
* Vintage neck scarf
* Glasses are by Ted Baker and I rarely wear them… even though I should be wearing them when I read and stare at my computer for hours… but I won’t unless my eyes are seriously strained and I still have more work to finish. It’s rare… did I say I rarely wear them? 😉
* Camel coat by SMYTHE – another favorite – there are so many affordable camel coat options now! Very few existed when I bought mine… and there are still plenty of very pricey options as well. I’ve linked them all in the shopping widget below.
* Madewell snakeskin loafers I think I got last year or maybe the year before actually, but I love them for fall, before it’s too cold for exposed ankles
* The Marc Jacobs black pillow bag (still loving)… similar here
* Title: INXS – Heaven Sent lyrics… One day you’ll see… What angels can see… Dressed in black if she comes back… I think I’ll loose my mind… Tuesday she works in the library uptown… Some useful knowledge can always be found… Don’t burn the library till you’ve read all the books… Sometimes in life you get a second look
In an attempt to motivate me to read more (or just to read more), I went to the local library and registered for a library card last week, thinking if I gave myself a time limit (in which I had to return a book) I’d prioritize reading a little more… and so far it’s working.
Being in the library made me smile… the smell of the books, the books themselves reminding me of my childhood visits to libraries, and mostly because it felt nostalgic in a way but also because it felt like I was embarking on a new adventure. I know, I know, it’s just a library card, but being there, searching for the perfect books to borrow filled me with joy… a joy I have been missing for a few months now.
The last library card I had and used frequently was for the Burbank library when I was living in or around North Hollywood when I was about 18 or 19years old, I believe. It was a much simpler time where I was truly searching for the meaning of life and I’d check out books like the Tao of Pooh and every morning grab my notebook and colorful pens and I’d sit on the back patio table with my coffee and cigarettes, reading and taking notes from what I was learning. I’m positively sure I still have the spiral notebooks somewhere full of handwritten notes from all the books I was reading at the time as well as journal entries contemplating my readings. I wonder what I’d gain mentally, emotionally and even spiritually if I read through all my old journals… or would it simply be an obvious first step, so to speak, into the theory of my life and all human life and suffering on this planet, from a youthful and naive mind?
Lately I’ve been on a similar journey, contemplative, inner searching, learning and growing and realized I’ve been looking back a lot instead of forward, wondering if my past decisions were made for me or for others… regretting choices I had no idea were wrong until sitting in the outcome. Regret is always foolish but comparing a past version of myself to a present version can only help; acknowledging my triggers and noticing where I’ve changed, where I’ve moved forward and grown and where (and when maybe) I’ve stayed stuck in the same emotional space.
Anyway… I checked out three books but only began reading two of them. My first choice was Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevsky, which is just short of 500 pages and is as thick as a wall, Juliet Naked by Nick Hornby (which I haven’t started yet) and by far the smallest book that caught my eye was Happiness Becomes You by Tina Turner.
Upon arriving home, I dove right into Dostoyevsky and quickly realized it was a much bigger undertaking than I had anticipated. In addition, I was already feeling so heavy emotionally that I really wanted something lighter to curl up with. I picked Tina Turner’s book, much smaller in comparison and lighter both physically and mentally, and was pleasantly surprised. While it is slightly autobiographical (she’s in her ’80s now!), it’s mostly a spiritual book about her spirituality and Buddhist practice which she just published last year during the pandemic!
Way back in 2014 I pulled out a book from my own little library that I had purchased way WAY back in 1997 but hadn’t read. It was called Awakening the Buddha Within and was life-changing. I was so inspired to try meditation after reading it, just to see if I could do it, but didn’t really know where or how to start. With the help of Deepak Chopra’s guided meditations, it soon became a daily practice that literally changed my life (in 2 months I felt different and by 4 months all of my anxiety had lifted). I’ve been meditating ever since but Tina Turner’s book inspired me to be more intentional with my daily practice and also offered a new chant to add to my little mental chanting library. After just a week of a more focused daily meditation, I finally feel like I’m rising from the fog that had set in in the middle of September… I swear this book called out to me because it has been everything I needed and more.
* NOTE: I’ve also been listening to a few different books on Audible which are pretty fantastic as well – A Radical Awakening by Dr. Shefali and Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza
What are you reading at the moment? Though I have at least 480 pages left of Crime and Punishment, I’d love to hear your recommendations! 🙂