What I’m Wearing…
* Floral red dress from Faithful the Brand… from Summer. It’s sold out now 🙁 I included similar styles in the shopping widget below. I LOVE this red dress tho
* White Alexander Wang Rockie bag – also sold out.
* White Converse – literally always available forever. Can you imagine making something that is so classic and iconic that it never really goes out of style? I mean I’m more of a Vans girl myself, but sometimes a look just calls for chuck taylors. I also have them in red, and they’re probably twenty years old by now.
* Vintage white Ray-Ban sunglasses
* Title: Khalid, Disclosure – Know Your Worth… You don’t know your worth… All the things I know that you deserve… Say it’s not real if it doesn’t hurt… Find someone you know will put you first… Find someone who loves you at your worst
We shot these photos last summer… actually, it was the first shoot we did together when I had the idea to print out photos of us and create a photoshoot binder for the girls (which they absolutely love, by the way). I’m not sure why I didn’t share them here… though it totally makes sense (I haven’t shared most of them here), and I feel like my head has been in a creative cloud until recently, but I’m glad to be out of the fog.
I was scrolling through the photos on my phone last night and as these appeared, I decided they’d be perfect to share now… A. because it’s Valentine’s Day and I’m wearing a red dress (obviously) and happen to be making a heart with my hands, which in all honesty, I never do unless Peyton (the oldest) does it first and I’m responding to her (because it’s so sweet)… and B. because it dawned on me that not only do I have ONE Valentine this year, I have THREE VALENTINES – well, 5, if you include my forever Valentines, Trevor and Randy 🙂 …and that’s pretty amazing I think.
And then I got to really thinking just how lucky I was to have all this love in my life and how at first, I had a hard time accepting it, or allowing it in, or maybe receiving it is the right way to describe it. And when I say “at first” I mean, probably still (and maybe always). You see, I’m not very good at love when it’s real like this… but I didn’t really know that about myself until it was completely abundant in my life and when I realized it, my first instinct was to run.
And I tried… But something kept bringing me back.
I fought it. I fell into it. I surrendered to it. I got scared. I pushed it away. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
It wouldn’t go away though. It kept coming back to find me and I didn’t really understand it. I still don’t. But I also don’t run as much, even when it feels all prickly and scary and I really want to, I don’t… or maybe I do, but I don’t go as far, I return more quickly… I breathe. I allow it. But I’m still working on it.
Sometimes it’s easy for me and sometimes it’s not. In theory this sounds insane… who would run from love? Well, probably lots of us in some way or another… and we do it in a variety of ways because we don’t want to hurt or feel vulnerable or any list of things that may “happen” if we take the risk.
But what is life without love? What is anything if it doesn’t come with a little (or a lot of) risk? Probably not worth anything at all. The bigger the risk, the bigger the reward… or the harder you fall. Either way, running from life and love is no life at all… it’s time to run to it.
Happy Valentine’s Day Lovecats!
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