What I’m Wearing…
* Free People “Love of My Life” dress (which I LOVE. I got it during the last Shopbop sale and I want it in every color now!) I’m wearing a small and I almost feel like I could get an XS but I also like how loose and free it is. It’s already become the dress I “throw on and go” when I’m in a rush and would look just as cute with sandals or heels as it does with sneakers… though you know I’m obsessed with dresses and sneakers 😉
* Vintage denim jacket with hand painted tiger on the back / a gift from Jenn who owns Painted Cloth & Denim WHO not only found this fab vintage jean jacket for me, but painted an epic tiger on the back. I’M OBSESSED!
* Ferragamo red bow bag… I linked to more affordable versions in the shopping widget below
* Old Skool vans
* Phillip Lim tortoise sunglasses
* Title: Julia Michaels – Jump (Lyric Video) ft. Trippie Redd… I can’t afford the cost… Of me losing myself to you… And I didn’t want these feelings, but I brought ’em… But I know that you know exactly when I caught ’em…And I’m trying not to think about it often, but, ooh… Stay right there, get away… I need space, I told you yesterday… “Slow the pace down,” but then I see your face.
It’s so challenging sometimes to step away for a minute and see how wrapped up we get into our own little dramas in life, as if nothing else exists. And then suddenly, and without warning, we stumble upon something; an image, a song, a flower, the sunset, a breeze… anything that forces us to think about the larger scope and scale of the world rather than our own little world… and whatever our problems may be, the bigger picture takes over and though it’s overwhelming, it’s strangely calming…
Lately I’m working so much that I don’t have a moment to step back and take it all in. And I’m looking for those moments in space and time to connect with myself and with all that is.
I’ve been thrust into a new and different kind of work that I’m so NOT used to and while it’s amazing in a hundred ways and I’ve already learned so much in so little time, it’s a forced in the moment kind of work that is physical and social and allows for very little else to trickle through ~ even when I’m not working, I’m working.
I’m VERY used to working alone, being inside my head, thinking, writing, creating, working on solutions to creative problems…
Now I’m in the moment… every single moment, every single day, with so little time to reflect, no time for creative thinking or writing.
But I think in time, all will balance out. I think even now, as I’m able to sit back in awareness of my new and current situation, I am one step closer to the balance I am searching for. (often my expectations exceed my patience level of when everything is supposed to “be okay”)
I walked my lanes yesterday for the first time since we opened Dogwood Tavern, nearly 4 weeks ago, and it was incredible.
I know that probably sounds so strange, but my walks are more about connecting with nature than anything else (though I do like the physical aspect of them as well)… taking the moment to walk on a day off is an incredible feeling. It brought me back to the moment in a different way, even though I’m in the moment working, there’s no time for reflection or growth when you’re working nonstop like that, and I can’t live like that. It just doesn’t work for me, it’s not healthy.
I need the reflection, I need the mental clarity, the break from what sometimes seems so trivial that consumes my focus until I remember there is so much more. My brain needs the intense mental workouts sometimes and it likes to be constantly learning new things as well as tinkering with new ideas and calculating new ways for creativity to emerge.
I know balance is near. I feel final endings and great new beginnings on the horizon. And I know that beyond my little world, there is something far greater that surrounds us all and there is peace in knowing that whatever I actually think is a problem is nothing but a moment of clarity away from a solution to move me toward the next wave of problems and solutions… and maybe that’s all we as humans are actually doing at all times… creating problems simply to find solutions that both equally help us grow yet also keep us sane in so much chaos and confusion. Because what is reality anyway? 😉
Happy Tuesday Lovecats!
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