What I’m Wearing…
* Lee Modern Unionall in army green gifted by LEE because I’m OBSESSED with them. I’ve been wearing my denim pair for over a year now, pretty regularly actually. These run a teeny bit larger than the denim pair, but I haven’t washed them yet either. I sized up to a medium for a looser fit in both.
* Black and white blazer by ASTR (on sale now!) and I love it because it’s double lined and THICK, can work as a jacket, not a flimsy blazer. Love!
* long brown Belt is ancient from Asos… see it here and here forever ago and here
* Dr. Martens Serena boots with faux fur lining… and really, I think a brown pair would have looked better, and actually I just ordered a brown pair via the last sale Shopbop had, but they weren’t here in time for this outfit. Also, I didn’t think about brown until after, seeing the photos, because I was matching the black boots with the black and white jacket, but seeing the shots, brown would have been better, though slightly more costumey
* Barton Perreira Wynette cat gold sunglasses
* Walrus Castle Capri Fedora Hat
* Vintage Louis Vuitton monogram looping bag
* Vintage Queen magazine from the ’60s
* Essie nails from the EssieExpressie collection
* Title: Noah Cyrus – July … when life may go back to normal.
I feel like this outfit was accidentally inspired by my latest obsession, Outlander… and has a hint of “End of Days” military regime vibes as well. I mean, I wasn’t really aware of it at the time when I put it on… it was only after seeing the photos and this quarantine life that I realized how inspired it was completely by accident.
We don’t always know what inspires us, inadvertently or even subconsciously maybe…
Speaking of a little inspiration, I FINALLY feel a little inspired, motivated and a little, dare I say it, freedom during this quarantine.
The last few days I have made a STRONG EFFORT to NOT look at all the STUFF. You know, THE STUFF. I’d wake up and immediately check the CV new cases and death toll for the world and the US and get a pit in my stomach. I’d try to go about my day… feed the dogs, make the coffee, let the dogs out and as soon as I’d pour my coffee and sit down at my computer I couldn’t stop myself from checking Facebook. And Facebook is the number one enemy right now, aside from you know, the actual virus and all the germs… And they’re probably getting more traffic and interaction than they have in YEARS.
Nearly every single thing in my feed is about the virus or about the president or about how the president is handling the virus and how other countries did better or worse than us and what we can do to BLAH BLAH BLAH. IT’s NEVER ENDING. And I’m sure you know that too.
I almost had this addiction to it. I felt like if I stopped something bad would happen and I wouldn’t know or worse, I’D GET IT or someone I loved would get it or any of the other ridiculous spirals my brain would slide down on its way to total fear and anxiety and eventual sadness. I couldn’t relax until nighttime, when I could finally allow myself to stop looking, to binge on some mindless show (ahem. LOVE IS BLIND) and finally submerge myself in total distraction and actually laugh and have a little fun.
Each day since March 13th has been like this. I’ve left the house two times since then only to go to the post office (quickly) and to the bank in one outing and to the post office again a few days later (we don’t get mail delivered to our houses up here so we HAVE to go) and then once to storage to get my trampoline. Luckily my trip to storage was solo, no social distancing required, but the post office and bank were different stories. And the rush of anxiety that filled me the days after having to go out, was astounding.
I wonder how people aren’t as freaked out as I am when they have to leave the house…? I mean, I was almost in tears just knowing I had to go to the post office and I wore gloves and a scarf, not a mask, that kind of covered my face. I was not protected, but you know, more than anyone else I saw out that day. NO one else had gloves on. Gentlemen were HOLDING THE DOOR FOR ME for crying out loud!
Now normally, I am very grateful for this act of kindness, especially when carrying a large package, which I was, HOWEVER, in times of social distancing, holding the door for someone also means you have no choice but to get within a few feet of them.
This is all to say that usually, after staying home a few days, I feel less anxious but I’m running out of coffee creamer and english muffins, my daily morning needs, and I’ll have to go to the market probably tomorrow, which I am not looking forward too.
On the other hand, my fiancĂ© seems to have no problem going out and seeing people. HE is keeping a good distance, but I have to constantly remind him that seeing his friends is NOT considered social distancing and every time he leaves the house I’m like NOPE… DO NOT COME NEAR ME when you return… You are not only risking your own health, you are risking mine, your kids when they come back this weekend and every single person you come in contact with and then every other person THEY come in contact with since we honestly still don’t know all the ways this thing is contracted.
ANYWAY… I’m sure this is all on your minds as well and I hope you are also staying home and practicing social distancing when you must be in contact with people… I haven’t seen my mom since March 7th and I’m having mom-withdrawals.. But I have had to finally convince myself and FORCE myself to NOT look at the news and numbers and statistics, at least not longer than a few minutes here and there, and it has seriously helped my days become happier, more productive, more inspired and well, just better overall.
I have to constantly tell myself that I’m staying home, doing my best and even if I do happen to get it, that I will be okay and have had so little contact with anyone and 100% would NOT leave the house if I didn’t have to saving me from the fear and guilt and sadness in thinking that I might be responsible for spreading it any further.
We went outside to shoot these photos and have gone outside a few more times because well, we live in a forest basically and the odds of seeing another person outside when we were outside are pretty slim, though there are a few regular walkers around here, and I don’t mean zombies… even though that’s an accurate description of what it feels like lately, don’t you think?
The last few days of NOT staring at my computer and reading ridiculously ignorant comments on facebook have made my quarantine days much nicer. I’ve finally been able to get a little creative and I even did a DIY. I’m FAR more active on my Instagram stories because well, why not? We have little else to do… but there’s really so much we can do. What makes it hard is focusing non-stop on the problems, on the cases, on the numbers and on what’s going wrong instead of right… and it’s very hard not to because well, people are dying and that’s just not okay and it’s hard knowing that and then also enjoying our time… BUT if we stay home, and stay healthy, there is so much opportunity right now for creativity and helping others and to do all the things we’ve always wanted to do but didn’t have the time for. I know for the last week or so I wasn’t able to focus on anything longer than 10 minutes, so writing the novel I’ve wanted to wasn’t on the docket, but little things like talking at you on my Instagram stories (something that in that past I really wished I always could do more of) is now rather fun, especially because we’re really all in this together on some level. It’s happening to all of us, all over the world, and if that isn’t a time to come together while staying apart, well then I don’t know what is 🙂
Happy Hump Day in Quarantine Lovecats!
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