Now, because of above mentioned BUTT, I have always ALWAYS had issues with not only pants {I didn’t wear anything but dresses until the 4th grade} but with underwear. Underwear that wouldn’t stay where it was supposed to stay. Underwear that with one step would ride up my butt. Underwear that drove me so crazy that at the young age of 4 forced me to march straight into my parents room in the mornings before school, spread my legs and bend over and with butt in air, pointing at it and yelling SEE! SEE HOW IT GOES UP?!
Trying to hold back laughter, they’d tell me to go change and put another pair on …which of course would end with me in their room, bent over, butt in the air, making the exact same point again.
This went on for years. Years of horrendous wedgies caused by underwear that preferred the inside of my butt to the outside, where it was supposed to be happy.
And then g-strings were invented. And at the young age of 13, g-strings were the answer to all my problems.
NOW instead of having 10 inches of fabric in my butt, I had less than an inch. I could barely feel it! No more wedgies! No extra layer of material between my pants and my body, making my backside feel even BIGGER than it was.
G-strings, in my world, were sent down to me from God. They were never about being sexy …they were about comfort. As my husband likes to say, my butt eats a g-string. Imagine what it would feel like if your butt was eating a pair of granny panties?
Lately, however, I find myself constantly reaching for the few pairs of cotton bikini underwear that share my underwear drawer full of 100 or so g-strings. I look forward to the days I choose a loose dress just so I can wear the bikinis. {because it’s still too much fabric with pants/jeans}
…via
I’m not proud to say that because of age and sitting, my once high and bubblicious butt is now a bit droopier, a bit softer, a bit more Caucasian and sadly feels much more comfortable in a nice pair of bikinis rather than a g-string. I thought the day would never come that I would actually choose more fabric to less. But alas, it is here. And as I chose comfort originally with the g-string, I now choose comfort in nice cotton full-butt bikini bottoms …however, the same cannot be said for the shoes I choose to wear. The day I choose comfort over the fashion is a day I am not looking forward to.
So ladies, if your big bootied teenage daughter wants to wear a g-string, please let her …it’s probably just more comfortable!
drollgirl
all(s) i’ve got to say is: HOORAY FOR BIG BUTTS!!!
and an even bigger hooray for BIG PANTIES!
daer0n
I don’t wear either, it’s easier LOL.
Underwear makes me feel fat, for some reason, and cannot stand wearing it, i get anxious. So the solution to my problem was not to wear any. In regards to your ‘droopy, softer and so on butt’ that doesn’t only come with age…let me tell you that you are STILL so lucky to not have had babies yet, because, i have to tell you, after three kids, it’s not JUST your butt that goes the way you just mentioned above -sigh- its everything! G-strings, bikinis…something that no one will EVER see me wearing. At least not in this life :/
steph
Haha, what a great post. I switch between thongs, g-strings, and boyshorts. My bf tried to get me to wear these teeny-tiny panties, but I think boyshorts compliment a juicy butt too, no? Haha, and for an asian girl, I have a pretty big butt, which I’m proud of. =)
Marcia
Not that I have a big butt, but I swear by hipsters! :clap:
All I wear are hipsters as my buttocks can’t handle strings…
Laura
How can a post be so right and wrong all at the same time? You’re the best!
anotherfishinthesea
oh this made my lunch hour much more enjoyable.
Elaine
I have a big butt for an Asian. But I always loved wearing the cute bikini bottoms from Victoria’s Secret because it made my butt look younger and cuter!!
clothedmuch.blogspot.com
Milly
LOL…..when i was young and thin…all i wore were thongs,…now i go for more fabric aka boyshorts
http://www.labelledamesansdice.com/2009/08/my-second-diy.html
Have you seened this?..some one else did your DIY Louboutins
J-Diggety
Hahaha… oh wow, this post is my fave today!! And for a thin white girl, I’ve got some tookus back there, too 🙂
And seriously, is that girl’s butt FOR REAL?!?! No computer enhancement?? Omg, Sir Mixalot’s wet dream!!
Absolutely Not Martha
“10 inches of fabric in my butt”…HILARIOUS.
Kristen
this is the BEST POST YOU HAVE EVER DID. i, too, have been blessed (well, didn’t think that when I was younger!!) with a round bootay. growing up – i had no clue what in the world to do with it and no pants fit. nothing. now – i thank God for bringing jlo, kim kardashian and other females with curvy figures to the scene. now – i feel normal. 🙂 i did a blog about it this week. one of my “i won’t” posts. check it. yeah – and your body rocks!
Jen Ell's Revenge
This is simply hilarious
Annie
lovin this post!
i got a booty to girl 😉
i’m loving thongs and g-strings!
Miss Anne
best post ever.
i ♥ bikinis, thongs, and gstrings.
bring em on!
The Alleged Ringleader
We are two twins! I have had the SAME problem for years! thank God for True Religion jeans as they seem to EMBRACE my booty and make it look fab! I haven’t tried the VS bikini’s but I will have to check it out – thanks for the tip!
As BBD says “Never trust a big butt and a smile…”
Shirley!
Haha!
This post made me chuckle!
kisses,
Shirley
Kate @ Très Lola
You know, I think you may well be the first girl I’ve heard say that for her g-strings were about comfort… my butt is so utterly regular sized I think, not huge, not flat… and I rock bonds boy legs most everyday… ultimate cotton comfort for me – brief style comfort i’d taken for granted, until now!
The Little Jewelry Box
what a cute post! i like bikini cut myself!
b is for brown
honey, i have a big one too! and the boys in high school loved it. lol. um, that one bottom is well…LARGE.
Sher
I have all types of underwear. It depends on the outfit. Some need a thong, others bikinis 😉
Brooke
This post is hilarious! I, also, have a butt, and I prefer g-strings during the day and boyshorts at night. However, my ass has never consumed my granny panties. I just prefer the thongs.
Tee
LOL
My answer to underwear problems are Hanky Panky. For me they are the next best thing to the comfortable bikini. Theyre pretty much all I wear now because theyre so soft I forget theyre there.
Erin
Amen!
Susan
I love your writing- funny and open minded. I have a big butt, too… however, I don’t like g-string bikinis at all, talking about skinny or not. I just think it doesn’t look good. men would probably argue with that… 🙂
happy Thursday, xoxo
Lindsay [Bella Cene']
I got a big o’ butt too! I keep telling myself [daily] that I’m going to start doing some lunges, etc to tone/firm it up… but I never do so now mine’s becoming “droopy” as well 🙁
ohbrooke
A. I wish I had your butt, which I find petite.
B. I can’t wait for the day that my butt sags. Maybe it’ll get in the way less… my butt is just a little too… Buoyant.
God Made Me fuNky
Haha, loved this psot. Everyone has their issues, I used to have a non existent butt till I graduated which meant there was no no support for the jeans to hang onto and thus every pair fell flat. ANd I used to so so envy the gals with visible curvaceous behind, which is to be found in plenty in India. But now as I have grown up and have gained weight, some of it had spread on to my backside. So I am kinda ok with it, but still even today if I lose weight, the first place that becomes slimer is the butt. So i guess everyone has a butt issue to deal with
...love Maegan
I do wear boyshorts as well but my butt LOVES to eat those too. drives me insane.
Kristin
With the birth of the bambino came a much wider spread and boy shorts were the answer for me. My itty bitty thongs don’t get as much rotation as they used to.
Mama Kat
Mmmmhmmm…I feel you on this one. And let me just say I have a really soft spot in my heart for juvenile when he said this to me:
Girl you look good, won’t you back that azz up.
You a fine lookin woman won’t you back that azz up.
written for me by the way.
Chessa!
Ihear you, sistah!! I am half Cuban…we all have asses like shelves…at least in my family. and I hate underwear…I take it off the second I get home. I can’t even sleep with any bottoms on at all anymore bc the second that anything rides up it ruins my sleep…my all time fave undies (bc panties is…I just can’t)…are Hanky Panky…love love love them..I know some gals are not fans but literally every single pair of undies that I own are HP…except for the uber sexy ones that I bought to match a bra…but yeah,…the everyday ones are HP and Ilove them.
CC.
haha loveeee it. i love g strings too and have quite the collection. but recently ive been into the boy shorts they are so comfy-screw panty lines i love my boy shortiessss. xoxoxo
Trina
I have the *flat & wide* model of the buttocks. Hate it. I prefer g-strings or thongs for day wear and wear cotton bikinis at night. Just because I have a less than round bootay doesn’t mean it doesn’t like to eat underwear. And because I tend to wear more *fitted* bottoms most of the time, the less material back there, the better.
Brett Alexandra
I have ALWAYS had that problem. People used to say my butt was melon shaped. Ha-whatever that means. I can never find perfect underwear. The bikini style I do prefer, though. I just can’t get comfortable with the g-string!
Great post!!
bananas.
HA! i too can never call them panties. it just sounds, i dunno, weird. i wish i had a big bubble butt but sadly i don’t. therefore the g-strings don’t mesh well with my ass. i like my super small boy short undies. those work best.
Hanako66
lol I totally relate to this too…I was a skinny girl, but always packed a big booty! Lately, my softer, saggier butt has been comfy in boy shorts, though half my ass hangs out of the bottom after 2 seconds.
I love hanky panky thongs though…you can hardly feel them!
Elizabeth Marie
“more Caucasian”…I die.
I can’t say panties either. When a guy says it it gives me the creeps.
Hanako66
oh and lol i always call my husband’s boxer briefs panties and he gets so mad lol
OceanDreams
I am a fan of boy shorts, they are comfy but I know it nice to wear g-strings when wearing tighter clothing. He he, I like big butts and I cannot lie, just kidding!
Pinky
As a white girl with a big booty I totally appreciate this post. People don’t understand when I say thongs and v-strings are just comfy for me. I can’t wear bikinis, they annoy!
I am still at the age where my booty is high and perky, but I will be ready when it chooses gravity over my wishes. Also, I have never, ever slept in my thongs, I always choose boy-shorts for nighttime, I dont know why.
Amy
my parents were soooo anti-thong when i was growing up. i think i wore bikini briefs until i was 22. one of my thongs found the way into my parents’ laundry during a weekend visit home and my mom was all horrified “WHAT is THIS!?!?” haha…i still love ’em for the badonkadonk. HOWEVER i can also now appreciate seamless boy shorts from la senza on loose-dress days, or jeans days. i cannot stand digging fabric out of my crack.
Lisa Petrarca
Yes, I know the hide in the crack episodes your talking about very well. I chose to switch to g-strings too. However when I sleep I choose (BLOOMERS)…wide bottom bikini underwear that are a little larger than my size, hence the BLOOMERS reference.
So for all you big booty ladies, I have to suggest BLOOMERS at night! It’s funny whenever we go away my husband asks, “Did you leave your bloomers at home I hope?” When you’ve been married as long as me, comfort over sexy every time!
erin
THANK YOU!
i HATE when ignorant & old fashioned people make you feel bad for wearing something that you simply find more comfortable! it’s not as if we all pull our g-strings above our pants so they are visible… we just like to have less material up our ass!
SO true. thank you, once again. this needed to be said!
erin
The Traveling Circus
I have a butt that is big in the wrong places and small in the wrong places. it sucks, but in terms of comfortable panties both normal ones and thongs work for me, but recently I do find myself looking at the proper underwear rather then thongs.
I like boy short underwear the most I think
TERI REES WANG
…or you could just go Commando!
Let it all bust out and feel the Summer’s breeze.
Aritza, Goddess of ..
Yessssss, Hurray for big butts 🙂 and G-strings (thank GOD) !! The bigger the assets the bigger the paycheck, uhm.. I wish. Unless that means I would have to work WITH my body, in that case, nevermind.
neurochiq
It took me some time to embrace my uber blessed bottom, I’m Asian but hell, I really have a big one that I find it hard to find a perfect fitting pants. YAY. but ineteresting post =) I’m not a fan of G strings, but I’ll try it more often =p
Random Musings Of My Life
Amen!
Underfunded Heiress
You are so funny!
I prefer g string but only because I hate the look of panty lines.
Mrs. D
Comfy, plain cotton bikini briefs for me. And I LOATHE the word panties. Ick.
freeteyme
it depends on what I am wearing but I do love g-strings and lacey boyshorts =)
amoramor
hahahahahaha
like the post =] i am so glad u left a comment in my blogger, u r such a DIVA to me haha i keep comming here everyday (sorry my poor english Maegan)
Dorkys Ramos
What a fun and honest post, Maegan 🙂
I actually just finished one I’d been trying to work on all day, but couldn’t. It was actually National Underwear Day today (Wednesday) so I did a mini roundup of some pieces I found online.
http://dryastoast.blogspot.com/2009/08/national-underwear-day.html
b.
im the exact same!! people dont get how i only wear thongs and g strings…. other underwear rides up regardless!!
Violet
lol i love the marching in yor parents room and telling then about your problems lol great communication
XX
Vi from Cali
JINX
i enjoy your blog…i love what you bring to fashion blog’n…
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Iva
hurray for the booties!! butts are vital for survival….I can’t imagine having to sit for more then 2 seconds without cushion…and I think g-strings are just perfect!{I just dont need to see them when someone squats down for something, no thank you!} 🙂
Maki
Big butt rule!!! I have big butt compare to rather tiny body and I love thongs… However, JT loves bikini panties for everyday occasion – and thongs for the special occasions 😉
You do have nice okole (Butt in hawaiian)
Leigh
It is so true, I just ended up wearing g-strings only for moi because they were so much more comfortable, but I also lately have been wearing both. Great post!
Leigh
PS seriously just found this photo after I left a comment crazy! goes well with the topic LOL…
http://altphotos.com/Gallery.aspx?a=Photo&photoid=414588
Golden
LOL. Your blog entry really made me laugh!
Sapphyre
lmao!! that was hilarious!
I remember buying my first thong at 13 and my mother absolutely flipping out about it because it was “too sexy”. However, i had the one problem she didn’t- Curves! And lots of them! haha. her solution for me? suck me in every where granny pants… and oh how depressing they were. lol. That quickly got tossed aside & she was forced to accept that this was how it would be from now on. I even find myself having a hard time wearing the wonderfully comfy (when you can find the right pair) and ever so fashionable boyshorts since I STILL have that problem! haha.
Pinay in Dutchland
i love them both and they are the reasons why i make sure to have a regular brazilian. those are just so sexy.
Cathy Voyage
Hehe, great post!
A Swedish Tiffany
can I recommend Goldsign jeans for big booties? They’re super comfortable and fit for us curvaceous ladies!
diane
I promise that I never harass my daughters about their G-strings, although I do call their yoga pants “*ss pants”.
Mary
Well at least you have slim hips. I have a big booty and wide hips. Not fair.
Sexy Lingerie Nights
Bravo, very refreshing to hear plain talk about something that effects many of us out here. I really liked what you said and more so I like the way you think.
Melissa Blake
Hi — I just found your blog. It’s awesome! Hope you don’t mind if I add it to my blogroll.
besswess
I have started doing the same thing. Those full back panities just look so nice. But I have started buying boy shorts. They do not ride up as much.
anhesty
u crack me up! thanks for the smiles.
JGeb
I just have to say your are the most honest blogger I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. I love it! Anyways…have you tried boy shorts? They don’t really ride up and if you get a thin enough material you won’t have obvious lines.
Jill
Baby Got Back is my husband’s anthem…thank god! I’m totally with you on this. No more g-strings for me…I’m rocking the lacy boyshorts or hipsters now.
Moomby
hee hee! awesome post! this may be one of the funniest/cutiest posts i’ve read!
Lizzy
No matter how thin I am, I always have a booty. I don’t know what I did before Hanky Panky…I definitely second that suggestion. Try them. I’m sure you’ll love them!
down and out chic
haha, this is hilarious, but i’ve always been the opposite. can’t do the g-string, it’s too uncomfy for me. i have also had people question whether i’m truly puerto rican b/c my butt doesn’t live up to the standard (my twin sister got it!)
ms. shoo
Too funny! I was born with a big booty, it’s in my genes, mums has one, her mum, and her mum’s mum. Mines hasn’t dropped doubt it will sense it’s very hereditary and I lurves my big ole’ booty. I do have to work to maintain the small waist, or else end-up looking like a pear 😉 But I have only ever worn thongs. I only wear big knickers when mother nature is torturing me 😉 It’s probably the only Brasilian stereotype I will allow is the bundas lmao!
By the way, this post made me spit out my tea. I heart you for always having that effect.
Andy
Don’t ever apologize for the booty- that makes you more womanly than any dress or high heel… embrace it (well, I guess your husband would) and shake what your mother gave you.
Anonymous
hilarious!
have the same issues 🙂
greetings from Germany!
Steph
I’ve been reaching for the regular panties (haha I actually like saying that word) every once and a while, but I’ve fallen in love with these thongs that Target has, it’s a wide band of lace for the top part. They’re SUPER comfy.
Joy Winner-or-Whiner
I should have closed my eyes coming into this post. My eyes have never seen a butt as big as the orange thong swimsuit.
Correa
I like a little sugar.
Ms Shoo from Correa
I love when you are on Mother Nature. It’s lovely to want to cry wearing big knickers when you are on Mother Nature. Which I love of you on Mother Nature, is when you spread your legs wearing shorts, I love seeing your big knickers, and I spread my legs wearing shorts, you’ll see my big knickers. Also, welcome to my underwear party, which only big knickers welcomed, whick I love seeing you in your big knickers and you see me in my big knickers.
Bunnie
Oh my Megan! I would have NEVER guessed. You look so gorgeous in all your pictures! I’ve got the same thing – a big ol’ butt that’s too big for lil ol me. I’m only 5’2 and having a big butt makes me look rather stubby and chunky! And yes, full underwear in a pair of jeans, definitely not comfortable! I’m scared for the day my bum starts to droop.. It’s so big. It’s going to touch the ground!!!
xo
Q, La, and Gooner
Never read your blog. Hilarious!
BetterWays
I have this problem too. But I find tongs and such too tight vertically unless I buy xtra large. And I’m a size six so then they are way too big around my hips horizontally. So I was hoping someone would respond with some brands. Where do black and latina women get their underwear?
I too love the Gilligan O’malley modal thongs and panties at Target. Except for the fit problem. And I’ve long since given up ever buying matching bra and panties since all stores will always be out of the size and color I need. So I’ve decided to buy everything in pretty pale pink or black only. I buy VS bras and Target panties. A few years ago I got the thongs in 3 packs, but now you can’t get a 3-pack of pink, you have to get multi-colors. Why do they do these things to me?
BetterWays
I see some recommendations for boy shorts which are supposed to eliminate VPL, but I tried them and they are too short in the back. Definite VPL.
I tried the large modal boyshorts from Target’s Gilligan and O’malley. They didn’t come in extra large.
Anonymous
I have the same problem!! But my mom’s friends daughter of 13 got one and I heard my mom going on about how it’s unacceptable. I’m 14 and I don’t know how or if I should bring it up to her. Any advice?!?
artdecodiamonds
Hoorah for both.. but i like bikinis better !
Emilie
This post made my day. Thanks!
Anonymous
I’m not trying to be rude or anything, but do you ladies know what ASS is? I think you guys are confusing just a little something back there to actually something back there. A big ole butt would be Trina. Nicki Minaj, Buffie the Body, Delishis, Bria Myles etc ( I know I named some not rather so classy lady) but still those are big butts.